The Last Page of My Japanese Adventure

December 23, 2009
The last moments, in the darkness, looking at the space that was, just yesterday, my home was an unique and incomparable feeling. I stood in such silence. I stood listening as if God had just turned the page - the last page of the story "Christina's Japanese Adventures". So strange that everything was over. So strange that this was no longer my home. So strange that I just packed up my entire house, my life, and my job in less than 24 hours. A part of me felt disembodied from what was happening around me, as if I was just watching things happen, not actually living them. I was so tired. I was so worn. I was so ready for vacation. Yet, this was not to be a vacation. This was permanent.

December 24 - January 1, 2010
I keep waking up at 3a.m. The time change is crazy. I haven't been able to sleep right - my bed is too high, too large, facing the wrong direction, too soft. I haven't been able to eat in the restaurants - the food hurts my stomach, the fork feels foreign, the portions are so huge, I need chopsticks and rice! I feel like no one else has ever dealt with this like I am. It is a crazy readjustment back into a culture that is more my own, yet, not really. Living as I have, it isn't like I have a culture. It isn't like any one place is my own. I can definitely relate to "third culture" statements. I wonder if others feel this way too? Not exactly belonging but not foreign. Makes me wonder at the statements in the Bible, as Christians we are pilgrims seeking the Land of Promise - the place where we belong, no longer out-of-place in the world we live.

January 1 - March 24, 2010
Every time anyone asks about my life in Japan one of two emotions occur - tears or anger. Tears revealing the sorrow that is in my heart at the loss of those I have left in Japan. Anger revealing the unresolved conflicts in my soul. Anger comes more quickly than the tears. Anger at the wrongful accusations. Anger at the misunderstandings. Anger at the cultural barriers that are impenetrable. Anger at the anger. There is definitely a problem. Something has to change. I can't continue going through the day, worried that I am going to bust out in tears at a simple inquiry or become angered by a memory. I just don't know what to do or what to say. How does one resolve such opposite emotions - emotions that are surprising because they are not welcome. They are impeding me. They are causing me to dwell in those things that are in the past. They are causing me to limit my outlook on the future. I fear duplicating the mistake that I haven't realized I made, the mysterious mistake that changed everything. I have no desire to do that. I have no desire to endure that pain again. It hurts me that I don't see the good that is coming out of this - that I only see the pain.

March 25, 2010
Whoa! The Pastor just gave a message on forgiveness. It so moved my heart! I just didn't realize how much the anger was against those I worked for - for the wrongful accusations, for the misleading beliefs of who I am and who I was while in Japan. All this time I believed that I was the one who was wronged. I was the one who was misjudged, accused, and wrongfully perceived. All this time, it was them not me. This message, this truth, was so clear - it wasn't just them. Sometimes we do things that others don't understand - it hurts them, we say things - it hurts them, we behave a certain way about us- it hurts them. Sometimes we hurt others without even knowing it. We can't live always worried that we will hurt someone. We have to be who we are, as true to ourselves as we can, as real as possible, as transparent as we can possibly handle. But, if we hurt and are given the chance to heal the hurt, and don't take it, then we have now become the ones who deliberately wrong, deliberately hurt, deliberately do. We must ask forgiveness for perceived wrongs when we are aware of them. We don't have to know how or why the hurt occurred. We just need to restore relationship when we can. If we fail to restore, then we are the ones who are wrong.

Thus said, I did what was very hard. I chose to write a letter. A letter that would change my life. It changed my life because it liberated me from anger, from hurt, from "what if". Not the letter, but obedience to what God was teaching me. Obedience to what He had laid on my heart. The Bible is clear that we are to pray for those who have wrongfully used us, that we are to give above and beyond what is asked of us, that we are to forgive as we want to be forgiven. Holding on to the wrongful acts that have been done against us doesn't hinder anyone but ourselves. It causes us to be limited and to be "broken". When we don't forgive it breaks our ability to love. I am not willing to loose that ability. Are you? Is it worth it - holding onto the past, the past of another person's actions?

Today - April 6, 2010

I would have been coming home yesterday, had I stayed to complete the third trimester. I would have been going through all the adjustments I just went through! Crazy! But, now, rather than having to look at my time in Japan through the lenses of pain & anger, I now see it with joy. I see it as a time of great learning and experience. I would not trade the lessons for anything. I have no idea what God would have me do right now. I am waiting for His leading. I seek His will. I want to serve others and to love them as God loves them. This is my purpose.

I will tell you this....if you live overseas for less than 330 consecutive days...you have to still pay taxes on the money you earned overseas. I missed the mark by 14 days! Oi ve! The IRS knows - they are linked to customs - they will find out and they will fee you up the wazoo! So, be smart: claim the money and just pay the tax. It is better to pay now then to be in trouble with the IRS later! If you need a good International Accountant -I know a guy. He has been working International Taxes since 1969. He is all up on what's what. Yearly it changes. Yearly you must conform or else! Scary to think what would have happened to me had I not had my tax guy! I would have thought that I only owed $26...then...years from now it would be more like $26,000!!! Ughhhh!

That's my story. The last page of my Japanese Adventure! God is good and will give me new adventures - I have no doubt. I just wonder what it will be called...

Second Trimester

Second Trimester has begun and is flying along! Things are going very good. I didn't go anywhere or do anything during summer break in August. It was a much needed time of rest. Summer school, summer club, summer camp was two full weeks of non-stop activity and plain wore me out. It was a fun time but very busy. Second trimester started the last week of August. Since then, we have planned open houses, Little Randy day (a movie "star" elephant, special programs like Jamboree, and a multitude of other activities. To say that this trimester will be busy is a bit of an understatement. Along with that, we are still designing the second grade immersion program in greater detail. I have attached some random pictures to just share with everyone! Enjoy!




Hero & Mari - Ladies I go visiting unique places with while they practice their English skills. It has been quite the blessing doing things with these two!




An Old Japanese Well.










We visited the North Pole! Interestingly Japan is much closer than I thought! And, they serve French cuisine! Actually, this "Guest House" didn't have any rooms and was just a restaurant way out in the middle of nowhere! How anyone found out about it is beyond me. In the States, it all about location. In Japan, I guess, not so! : )



The kids decided to pile their hats upon my head! The cracked me up! Look at those little faces - too cute!

International Center - The Star Festival

On July 12th, the International Center had a Star Festival Activity. The Star Festival is a holiday celebrated August 5,6,7. Sendai is known for their celebrations and the Tanabatas that fly high above the city as visitor's come from all over to see these amazing pieces. Look up Japanese Star Festival on google and you will see some samples of Tanabatas. During this time "wishes" are attached to pieces of bamboo and miniature tanabatas are placed alongside. The wishes are like prayers that the people want to have answered this year. At the International Center, I had the opportunity to wear a Yukata (summer Kimono). The above picture is me with the other ladies who were serving the tea ceremony. The one lady 2nd in from the left was so funny. She just got such a kick out of me in my ensemble. She just loved it and went on and on about it to my friend, Ms. Abe, who was translating the whole to me. It made me laugh.



This is the bow that was tied to the back of my Yukata. I could never reproduce this bow. The ladies go to a special training class to learn how to tie Kimono bows.

This is Paula Lutze and I. She was so funny b/c she has all her clothes on underneath her Yukata. The ladies couldn't find a way to explain that she would be given undercovers to wear to stay modest. Me, I just was lucky and the lady helping me gave me the garments first to put on so I had no problems with changing everything. The undergarments reminded me of light linen/cotton slips.
This is the front view. Not a lot can be said about it. The colors were so pretty. We didn't have many choices. Paula is petite in American standards but in Japan the ladies are so much smaller. There were only a few Yukata's that would fit our more "ample" frames....if you get my meaning! : )
This is my finished "wish". I wrote my name. My "wishes" go straight to God so no need to write them down and put them on a tree....
This lady was so good to show me how to write in Japanese. The strokes are pretty precise or the words/sounds change.
This lady was performing The Green Tea Ceremony.

The Last Month....in review....

I feel really bad that I haven't kept up to speed on this blog. I wanted to keep it as my "online journal". Evidently, that isn't working so well, unless, you measure a successful journal as being one that has been written in regardless of how many days pass between entries. In that case, I have great success!

May was a difficult month for me. I struggled a lot with missing my family, my church, and my friends. I was going through some big time culture adjustments. I was having communication issues with coworkers, and feeling like I couldn't do the job. I know, with no doubt, that God brought me here, so, there is no such option as quitting. You don't quit what God has brought you to do. However, you definitely have to learn to adjust to it - and - that is not easy, at times.

May was Friends' Day at Meysen. It was a time with carts pulled by horses, hotdogs from Costco, American food (popcorn, cheesecake, blueberry muffins, etc.), pony rides, put-put golf, and variety of articles sold and just an overall time to invite friends and family to see what Meysen is all about. There were Open Houses for each class. Mine was just 1 hour but all the parents were comfortably seated in the room while I taught. I didn't mind this time. I somewhat knew what to expect, and was better prepared. The greatest challenge was working 14 days straight. Sunday, May 31, was Marayama's (sister campus) Friends Day. I worked from 6:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. It was a very long day. I had a good time but it was long, non-stop work. Then on June 7th was Takamori Friends' Day. That, too, was a long day but different. I was teaching so didn't have as much to do in the morning. Though clean up was still ahead of me, it made the day a bit easier to handle. After the day was over, my friends Paula and Sara and I went to a place called Tirols. It was delicious! It is Japanese Italian food. The portions were greater than I thought they would be. It was nice to be able to end the day with friends and a relaxing dinner.

The month of June has been passing pretty swiftly. I have come to realize that God is Sovereign - that means that every detail has been worked out by Him, I don't have to worry. Do I worry? Of course, that would be lying to say I didn't. However, He constantly reminds me that there is no point in worrying about it, He's got it. Living here without a phone is an adjustment. I don't wish to have a phone. It just means that you have to learn to plan. So, my story... I got on a bus, 3 minutes to spare, heading for the train station. I was to meet my friends at the second stop, Yaotome, and then go downtown together. However, we never talked about what time to meet, only that we needed to be at our destination by 4:00p.m. We never said I will see you "here" by such and such a time. I got on the bus and prayed the whole time that they would be there and if they weren't there, then, I would sit and wait and study my Japanese book. (That was funny, too, because there was this older gentleman on the bus who was helping me with my sounds....I think he got a kick out of it! There are so many sounds in Japanese to learn!) When I got to the Yaotome station, lo and behold, my friends had just walked up the steps! They were so happy to see me and I them. We hugged and laughed - you would have thought we hadn't seen each other in a year! But, it reminded me that the God I serve is in contact with all of His children - He can relay the message, no problem!

Then, in addition to that, God has reminded me that He is Hope! There is always Hope when you put your trust in God. This statement is made because of so many experiences....it is hard to know where to begin. First, I have been struggling to communicate with my coworkers. It is a very complex scenario to overcome because, though, the words we are saying are the same language, the interpretation and understanding of them are completely different. Through prayer alone and the hope that God would enable communication, we are now understanding each other. Secondly, this is kind of silly, but I met this guy. I am not saying anything than simply this; there are more options in Japan then what I had originally thought. In fact, very handsome and nice options. That is all I will say to that! Increased options are really nice, though, especially, when you think that the options have all been relegated to only a handful and you are prooved wrong! In this case, I am happy to be wrong. But, again, it is to God that all glory is given because with Him ALL Things Are Possible - even nice, single, handsome men in Japan. Can I get an "AMEN"?! Gig, I think of you at this moment. : )

This is a basic summary. There are many more stories that I could share but time does not allow me or, rather, I do not allow the time. Whichever way you look at it - we're done here.
Love Always! cj

A New Mile Marker...

I have successfully navigated the bus from and to my destination of Izumi-chuo!!! This is a big deal! I have in the past experienced great frustrations because I have not known what bus to take. My co-workers have stated time and time again that I need to get on the "right" side of the bus. This would be great advise had anyone else been standing in a line waiting for my bus. However, as on all occasions, there was no one there but myself and a couple others (who hadn't any better idea about what bus to take than I), we got on the bus. The first time, the driver understood enough English or rather the words "Mey-sen Kind-er-gart-en", that he dropped us off in front of our very own apartments. I have no idea if that will ever happen again but it was nice. The second time, we got dropped off 40 minutes walk from our lovely apartments. I didn't like walking in the cold, at night, when I had just spent 5 hours walking downtown. After that experience I was most definetly avoiding the bus system if at all possible. That was about 2 months ago. Then, yesterday, my coworker Becky showed me what she has been talking about all along....getting on the right side of the bus. I know this seems so simple yet, when you see the pixs, you will understand why I had no clue. So, although, I wasn't so fond of the way in which she pointed out it's simplicity, I was happy that I finally got an answer as to getting on the "right" side always. This is another mile marker in my Japanese Adventures. To be able to get to and from home, simply and assuredly, has to count for something, right?!



This is the Bus Terminal Schedule for coming home. It is okay to read but still causes a bit of trouble sometimes This is the Bus Terminal Schedul for going from my house. Green means M-F Blue means Sat and Red means Sun & Holidays.

This is the sign where I am to always get on the bus on the "right" side. Now looking at this bus, would you know if everyone stood on the right side or the left side? Yep, me neither! This is, in fact, one of the buses that would take me every where but my house. A definite "No Go!". So I have learned that I must look for a symbol that reminds me a Tahitian god and then an asterisk tree (one asterisk on top and two right below it). That is my ride home!

Tokyo - I'll add captions after work on 5/2 - start at bottom

Cherry Blossom Fair

Teachers and Staff at Meysen. We went down by a river and looked at a cherry blossom fair. It was fun. Different than what I was expecting but, then again, everything is different! Cherry is also known as Sakura. The "a" is soft like in the old style "amen". And the "r" is curled like in Spanish. fyi

Backrow: Marina, Becky, Me, Annie

Frontrow: Kim

These girls all work with me. Very nice people. Kim is the only one who is came out with me in February.

This was a menu to choose a flavor-filled crepe wrap. Good luck figuring it out! I just pointed to ingredients after someone tried to translate the menue. You know me, I can pretty much figure out how to communicate no matter how silly.

This is Samuel. This is Samuel eating, while driving, with chopsticks! Does this bother anyone else? Samuel is so funny. He swore that he could do this, no problem. So down the road we went. He obviously was successful, since none of us died! He is in charge of another side of Friends Club at Meysen.

A Sakura- Cherry Blossom - tree in the front garden of Meysen. It almost reminded me of a weeping willow. The blossoms were on the tree for, maybe, a week. Like overnight the tree exploded in color, then overnight everything was gone. That is the way of the Sakura. Also, anything with Sakura on it - dishes, clothes, bags, stationary - only are available during April. I bought some wall art in April b/c I didn't know if I would stay on till next April. : P